Dearest Yoga,
Happy Birthday!! We hope you like these little not-drabbles with Jasper and Edward having a little slashy, fluffy fun. Each section alternates POV and author. Obviously TLIG got Edward because bmango can't let anyone else touch Jasper. :) Anyway, lots of hugs and kisses. <3
...
"I'm not backing down, Edward."
Opening one eye, I stare up at my sister. She's thrown open all the curtains, and it doesn't look right. My apartment's been cloaked in darkness for weeks now, ever since ...
I groan and throw my arm across my face. "No. Can't you just leave a man to wallow in peace?"
Alice yanks my hand, forcing me to look at her. She's kneeling in front of me, and all the anger from before has been replaced with genuine concern. I hate it when she worries about me. "You've tried that, and I've let you. But ever since Alec--"
"Please do not say his name."
She rolls her eyes. "You've been sitting in this dark apartment, living off of ... " She pauses, gesturing at the piles of pizza boxes and takeout containers littering the kitchen. And maybe a few corners of the living room. "Honestly, I don't know what you've been living off of. But you're not getting any better. You need to get out. Do something. Get some life skills."
He always took care of that kind of thing. "I don't have a life," I insist dejectedly. "So it's moot."
"Well, you need to get one," she says, standing and crossing her arms. "Starting now." Holding out the brochure again, her expression is resolved. "Starting with this."
...
I just finish placing the laminated instruction cards at each work space when the first of my new students arrives for class. This night is always my favorite, new possibilities, new faces, new experiences.
The woman enters the space slowly, looking over the array of alternating counter tops and ranges before her wide eyes finally rest on me. I stride forward with a broad smile on my face, extending my hand in greeting.
"Hello, I'm Jasper Whitlock. Are you here for the Introductory Cooking class?" I ask, trying to put her more at ease with my friendly tone.
"Yes, I'm Angela Weber. And I'm not sure this is a good idea. I have been accused of burning water," she admits, a blush immediately reddening her cheeks.
"Well, my goal is to teach you the basics," I reassure her. "Besides, I've seen worse than that, and I'm positive I can help."
She smiles up at me, and I notice a few other people trickling in. I call them over, and we make quick introductions before I have them each claim a space for themselves. I frown as I notice the clock reads five after seven, and I still have an empty space but decide to start class anyway.
"Hello everyone. I'm Jasper and we'll be using these weeks to help you with basic cooking skills. Most of you are here..." I trail off as my remaining student enters the room, stammering an apology as my mouth goes completely dry.
My every fantasy just walked through the door. He runs a nervous hand through his already tousled hair, tense green eyes meeting mine as my heart begins a frantic pace.
"Um, yes, it's not a problem..." I stop, waiting for him to offer his name.
"Edward," he replies quietly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Edward," I continue with a smile, hoping to put him more at ease. "You can have the last remaining space right here." I point to the spot directly to my left and hold my breath as he walks past me to take his place before I feel his gaze turn back to me.
I take a deep breath to settle myself. This is going to be a long night.
...
For the first time in weeks, time seems to fly.
Up at the front of the classroom, the teacher introduces himself as Jasper. He's lean and blond with eyes that have clearly seen some things. They seem to see straight through me.
I don't hear a single word he says.
Instead, I just stare.
It's like the numbness that followed in Alec's wake is finally leaving. The reactions that I remember as attraction, the racing pulse and the sweaty palms -- hell, even the fucking hard-on -- floor me with their intensity. They're things I haven't felt in so long.
"All right then, I'll leave you to it. Don't hesitate to call me over if you need help." Jasper claps his hands, bringing me back to the here and now. All around me, the other students start picking up the tools laid out before them. I just stare at mine, dumbfounded and embarrassed. I'm not accustomed to looking like a fool, but at the moment that's exactly what I am.
Sneaking glances at the girl to my left, I try to see what she is doing. And that's my excuse for being taken so completely by surprise.
All I feel is the warm hand on mine, and I turn as fast as I can, only to be faced with those brilliant blue eyes. Mute and sputtering, my face goes completely red.
"Here," Jasper says, smirking. "Let me show you again."
...
Edward's eyes widen as I step closer, and I can't help but glance at his mouth as he licks his full lips. I smile as I lean forward, wrapping my fingers around his knife. I move a half-step away and grab the nearest vegetable to demonstrate to him the proper way to grasp the handle.
"With your fingers here you have the most control of the blade. When you hold the carrot, make sure to keep your fingers curled back. This provides further stability to your knife and lessens the risk of cutting yourself."
I turn the blade around and hand him the knife, which he takes into a trembling hand. "Okay," he says hesitantly, reaching for the same carrot that I was demonstrating with.
"Just rock the blade over the surface," I instruct and watch as he carefully begins making slices. "Good, Edward. Keep it up."
I reluctantly make my way past the other students, offering instruction and tips as they slice and dice all the ingredients needed to make a mirepoix, a mix of onions, carrots and celery and a base for many dishes. As I walk through the room, I can't keep my eyes off the man hunched over his bench, his tall frame bent with the intensity of his focus.
I jump as a hand touches my arm, startled from my small daydream of Edward's lips. Turning to the student, I shake my head slightly and take a deep breath to settle myself. I try to stop the images of Edward rolling through my head, but even with the exasperating woman in front of me asking me question after question, all I can think about is him and his quiet concentration.
...
I can't fucking concentrate.
The blade rocks back and forth, and all I can think of is Jasper's hand guiding mine. Instead of fresh-cut celery, I smell the scent of his skin still hanging on the air. Instead of knives on boards, all I hear is his voice.
When I finish with the last of the onions, I finally give up and scan the room for him, finding him at another student's station, laughing at something someone else is saying. That's the first time it occurs to me that he's probably that friendly with everyone.
His attention isn't just for me.
A few minutes later, he's back at the front of the class again, and I struggle to really listen this time. It doesn't help, though. He speaks with such intelligence and passion that I find myself even more intrigued. I want to know how he can be so invested in celery when a couple of hours ago, I couldn't bother to care about anything.
For the first time in so long, I want to care about something. Him.
This time, when he sets us loose again, I have enough of a clue to carry out the instructions. Still, he heads toward my station first, and I hope he likes what he sees. I hope he talks to me. My whole body tenses with the thrill of his proximity, but then it's gone.
The fucker walks right past me.
...
I wander past all of the stations, fighting the urge to stop at Edward's side and feeling the heat from the ranges add to the smolder building in me. I don't stop long to help anyone, just a passing comment or suggestion, the difficult part of cutting the ingredients properly having already been done. Now it's just cook and mix, adding the other prepared ingredients and practicing following a recipe.
On my second round, I notice Edward's small frown and furrowed brow and pause next to him. "You okay, Edward?"
He jumps slightly, but doesn't look up from his work, only giving me a small nod in response.
"Are you sure? I'm here to help, you know," I try again and his frown only deepens.
"No, I'm fine," he says, still not looking up from his pan and picking up the ladle to stir the bubbling contents.
I touch his arm gently, and the ladle nearly drops from his grasp as he inhales sharply. "I'm sorry," I say, backing away slowly. What the hell am I thinking? "I'm sorry," I repeat, hurriedly scanning around the rest of the group and seeing most people putting the final ingredients into their soups.
I address the group at large, and everyone takes a small break while their dishes simmer, enjoying coffee and conversation. All except Edward, that is, who grabs his jacket and walks stiffly out the door.
I hesitate for just a moment. And then I follow.
...
I need air.
Between his distance and his touch, I'm a mess. Alice forced me into this class to try to get me out of my house and out of my head. I feel like I'm going out of my mind, though. I head for the nearest exit with my eyes blind and my ears deaf to anything else around me, throwing the door open hard and stepping outside.
Once there, I breathe. I just breathe.
The door doesn't slam shut behind me.
I close my eyes as the voice I already know calls out, "Edward? You okay?"
Am I?
Dejected and rejected, lonely and scared, I've pretty much been anything but. And I've been fine with that. Only now, suddenly, I'm not.
I want to be okay again.
I turn back toward the building and find Jasper staring at me, his hands in fists at his side. "No," I say honestly. "But I will be."
He smiles sadly, stepping forward, and I have no idea how he got so close to me. He smells good -- warm and masculine, like skin with just the slightest hint of spice. "Okay." He reaches out to place his hand on my arm. This time I don't jump or pull away. "Well, if there's anything I can do..."
There's uncertainty in his eyes, their openness a mirror for mine. I watch raptly as he licks his bottom lip. "There is one thing," I say hoarsely.
"Yeah?"
"Fuck it," I whisper, leaning into him. And that's the moment when I kiss him.
...
As Edward's lips touch mine, all other thoughts in my head are drowned in the sensation of his touch. The controllable burn that had slowly been building flares into a raging fire, and I return his kiss enthusiastically. One of my hands grabs onto his arm as the other winds into his hair, guiding his head to the side so we can deepen the kiss. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer, and I feel more than hear his moan against my mouth.
When we finally pull back, both of us greedily breathing in the cool night air, I'm reluctant to put much space between us, not wanting to let go so soon. Edward's eyes search my face, a faint blush creeping over his cheeks.
"I don't do this kind of thing," he whispers, as he closes his eyes.
"Well, thank God for that," I reply, smiling as he opens his eyes in shock. "I'm not one to share, and I hate for that to be something someone else has experienced."
He returns my smile, and I smooth my hand down his back, still holding him to me and staring at the beauty before me.
"Um, should we get back in there?" he asks after a few moments.
"Probably," I admit, taking a quick glance back at the door and feeling the unexpected reluctance to return to the job I normally drop everything for. I look back at him and realize that I may have found something a little more than I planned tonight. "But I'm not ready just yet."
He smiles again and leans toward me, placing a small, lingering kiss on the corner of my mouth. "Me neither, but I don't think we have much choice."
I sigh and step back, grabbing his hand in mine and squeezing his fingers, focusing on the fit of his skin against mine before looking directly into his eyes. "If I did, right now I would choose you."
The slow smile that spreads across his face is brilliant, and I hope that I can see that smile often. "Me, too, Jasper," he whispers, squeezing my hand as well. "Me, too."
...
"You'll want to chop the shallot fairly finely." I demonstrate, looking up from time to time to monitor the faces that are watching me. With a little bit of a flourish, I sweep the pieces onto the flat of my chef's knife and dump them into the skillet where they sizzle vibrantly. "Saute them for about a minute before adding all the other ingredients. Any questions?"
The students shake their heads, and I smile, directing them back to their stations. Two by two, they go. Relaxing for the first time all evening, I take a few moments just to breathe.
On the second exhale, a warm hand reaches out to touch and soothe me. "You did great."
I look over at Jasper, who is standing there beside me. No longer just my teacher, he's my partner now, in cooking and in life.
"Yeah?"
"Absolutely."
After a quick peck to my cheek, he begins to walk away, making the rounds, giving advice and instructing. I know I should be doing the same, especially during this first class that we're teaching as a team.
Still, I linger, thinking about that moment over a year ago when we were in this very same room and he was helping me.
He has no idea how much he helped me.
From across the room, I feel his eyes on mine in a silent question. I nod to show him I'm okay.
Taking the opposite side of the room, I approach the first couple's station and offer a few pieces of advice. They nod and try to follow my instructions, and I watch them as they make nourishment from raw ingredients.
As they make a life together out of nothing but themselves.
As I do, I think about how it's been for Jasper and me. He taught me how to cook alright.
But he also taught me how to love.
He taught me how to live.
.................
